Recent film pics from AA. Can’t believe the school year ends in just a week.
Photos from Bailey Minzenberger’s show at Nakamura this past weekend. Make sure to give them a listen on Spotify.
STAR Laces just released their newest black laces and their new “Ask My Pronouns” laces this week. Make sure you buy a pair at: Starlaces.org. Loved how the pics from the shoot came out.
Recent b-room pics.
I can’t believe we won the U of M Optimize grant. I am beyond blessed to have this amazing woman, friend, and business partner in my life. She teaches, inspires, and challenges me everyday and I couldn’t be more grateful & proud to be starting an activist art collective w/ her.
Isaac & I were featured on @THEM. A blessing to spread our platonic queer love w/ the world. Forever proud of my friends.
Sweet sweet photoshoot w/ the amazing Isaac!
Climate change protest at the University of Michigan. I can’t believe we have to fight for this university, this state, and this country to take action. We rallied. We walked. We protested in the president of the university’s office. He was not in the office. He was out of town. Coward I say. This is ridiculous.
Back home in Chicago. Weather isn’t warming up just yet. Dressing like a hunter even though I’m a vegetarian. Heading back to AA tomorrow.
Opinions of this years biggest trend, NEONS? I think I’m into it.
A hard laugh.
Teeth soaked in sparkling sweet poison.
I hold on to these people for comfort.
We continue to change.
And come back home.
And change again.
To burn what we left in 2018 is to be powerful.
To have a lifelong friend is to be lucky.
Thanks for spending our last hours of the year together.
I am always grateful for your presence.
Last day in Chicago.
Thrifted fits like usual.
White background like usual.
Tomorrow I’m off for another semester.
To be alone,
In the sheets.
One hand on the brown bush,
The other on a freckled rising mountain.
Sometimes two hands hold through an icy Chicago winter.
They try not to make a sound.
Try to stay warm in January.
To force a new is to be powerful.
To live without him is to be alone.
Is to be free.
Is to be lonely. Sometimes.
There are no wide stretch lips here.
No pearl teeth out.
The pit in my stomach has started to fill
With cheese and slight conversation.
Fill with two new year’s eve kisses from two best friends.
Fill with ridding myself of guilt,
And never describing myself as selfish again.
The pit has been touched.
Through platonic kisses and loving hugs.
But this pit is still empty with purpose.
With not knowing how to talk to my parents.
And sister’s friends.
This pit in me is still empty.
Yesterday my stomach felt a hard laugh.
From two friends on my sofa
They made me smile like I did in August.
I am still missing motivation.
In my mind and body.
And I am still glued down.
Only sometimes moving.
My head has gotten heavy. From screens.
And looking under.
But tomorrow I will fill my day with water.
Hopefully the sun.
I will not watch moving pictures to escape this
Place in my head and stomach.
I will procrastinate productively.
To make a name for myself.
To write poems.
To be proud.
A winter day with endless time. Easy sleep.
And thoughts of freedom.
I am free.
Free at last.
Lost at last.
Necklace: Laura Lombardi
Just Kids by Patti Smith
“We wanted, it seemed, what we already had, a lover and a friend to create with, side by side. To be loyal, yet be free.”
I am forever grateful that this was the final book I read in 2018.
This book understood me before a new year of my life started.
It allowed me to accept who I am.
Accept myself as an artist.
As a partner.
As an alone individual.
Patti understands me, even though she will never know it.
She will never know she spoke to me when I had no one to speak to.
She understood me when I did not understand any part of myself.
She comforted me by making me feel less guilty about the ways I live and internalize things.
I am forever grateful for this book.
I am forever grateful that I can read it over again page by page.
I am forever grateful this book came into my life when I did.
And that I read it when I did.
I am grateful for the eloquent writing and for the way she made me feel less alone.
I know Patti did not write this book for me.
In fact, she wrote it for herself. And Robert.
But I can't seem to put into words how much clarity this book brought me
in a time of confusion and guilt.
I can't help but thank a friend and mentor of mine, Mary, for gifting me this book
because she knew I would love it.
Maybe she even knew I needed it.
It seems Mary understands me like Patti does.
Even if I am the only one that will ever know that.
How freeing it is to burn what you will leave in the past year.
A lit flame to the things I will no longer engage in.
Active bettering is freedom.
Recognizing what I need to change is freedom.
I need to remind myself of these changes everyday to better myself.
I am always changing as a person.
Internally, externally, and to people.
I am only 20.
What I will manifest in 2019, I will:
Make people have conversations through art
Progress/ advance the world not just mirror it
Be open to change, do not be stuck in my preconceptions of what I think is me
Discover and accept who I am physically as a queer woman
Unwind learned behavior of patriarchy, sex, sexuality, and gender
Do not use the word selfish to describe myself.
Use art as healing tool for others > don’t charge more for photos that are gonna benefit someone in need, have people pay what they can afford
Donate to more Go Fund Me’s
Bring understanding and patience to people through love and listening, but do not be the savior
See all of someone, love all of someone
Only think of myself when making decision. What do I want? Do that. What will other think? Does not matter.
Be a productive procrastinator
Low waste living, collect and put plastic in mason jar.
Make art only I love.
Say yes to opportunities
Invest in career and self as artist
I need to be free in 2019. Totally and completely free.
Costa Rica for Christmas. A beautiful trip filled with wildlife and sun. I felt anxious for a decent amount of the time there, but I tried to control it by focusing on the environment I was in. I had a lot of laughs and a lot of wine with my family. Sunburns and card games bring us to close during the holidays. A lovely trip, but like always I’m glad to be home.
Thrifted clothing matched with good jewelry can almost always make for a great outfit. Here are some of my recent thrift store finds matched with my favorite staple gold jewelry.